The First Leadership Lesson: Be Your Own Leader

As human beings, we all are different and have various purposes in life, but if there is one principle we should all agree on, it is to voice ourselves. Indeed, from an early age we understand how when we speak up and stand up for ourselves we demonstrate to the world that our thoughts are worthy of respect. The ability to stand up and speak up are fundamental skills in our society, at school, work and home.


Being assertive is exercising the right to express ourselves in an appropriate way without stepping out on people's rights. Being assertive is being ourselves. Simply accept who we are without conditions and decide to live by it. Obviously, it is always easier to say it than to apply it, and many misconceptions subsist between assertion and aggression. Indeed it is not always simple to make the difference between passive, aggressive, and assertive behavior.

Most of the time, passive behavior will push us to completely dismiss who we really are. Passive behavior is reflected by inaction, indecision and an unwillingness to stand up for our rights for fear of others. People who display a passive behavior type will most likely try to always please others by suppressing their own feelings. On the opposite, an aggressive behavior is mostly characterized by anger and domination that alienates others who oppose you. People who present an aggressive behavior are intrusive and usually suspicious of others.

Being assertive is naturally being ourselves, and fully accepting our uniqueness. By being a full person, we naturally perceive others as unique too. Assertive is standing up for our rights in a positive, non-conflicting way. Being assertive includes being sensitive to the rights and feelings of others, and to communicate with people in a clear, direct and honest way.

By being assertive, we deeply try to respect ourselves and others. Having an assertive mindset helps us to set up boundaries, take responsibility for own problems, and avoid assuming that others might necessarily know our needs. It is also a powerful way to comprehend that we are not in charge of how others feel or behave.

An assertive leader expresses his/her feelings, opinions, and ideas honestly and works on building a relationship with others based on respect and true foundations. To reach a win-win situation, an assertive leader will be able to manage potential conflicts, remain professional and be cool-headed at all times. Being assertive affects not only oneself, but especially the people around us. This impacts, more specifically, the people we lead and strongly affects the results we yield as a group.

Being assertive is not being pushy or annoying, it is in fact voicing yourself to be your own leader as a unique human being no matter what your gender is, or what your circumstances might be.