An Apology to my wife

 This is a public apology to my beautiful wife, yesterday I saw her post on this platform, I'm sorry. Yesterday when I saw your post titled finally I'm kicking my

husband out my house enough is enough. I was angry, I told myself that you are wrong for bringing our problems to a public platform but I soon realized that I have been embarrassing you publicly, I have embarrassed you in front of your friends, your family and all who you love. so I have

decided that I will apologize to you publicly

I'm sorry

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firstly I'm sorry for making you feel worthless, I never meant to body shame you. half the time I was high and the other half i was just joking, I don't blame you for feeling the way you do, I rarely compliment how beautiful you are. I'm sorry

secondly I'm sorry for never being there for the kids, each time I see them, I was already half drunk, I didn't want them to grow up seeing me as nothing but a drunk so I pushed them away. I'm sorry

thirdly I'm sorry for not supporting your dreams, I didn't want you to go to the university because I didn't want to take care of the children while you were away, I wasn't ready to step up and be a father and you were against hiring a nanny because you fear that the children might be abused (sexually, emotionally or physically), that's why I ask for more kids, I see how you take care of the children with so much love and understanding. honestly I was scared. I didn't want my lavish lifestyle to end, I wanted to be at the club instead of staying home with the children, even the part time you were talking about still sounded stressful to me at that time. I'm sorry.

lastly I'm sorry for all I have put you through. for all the late nights, all the cheating. since we grew up poor, we didn't get to live a lavish life. I wanted the finest things in life and I allowed it to get to my head. I didn't mean to impregnate that girl, yes I did sleep with her raw but I gave her money to buy afterpills.

She was trying to blackmail me using the pregnancy, she wanted to keep the baby. I didn't know what to do, I was scared. I begged her to abort it but she was demanding to much. she thought I was rich, I explained to her that you are the one with the money not me, that's when she threatened to tell you about the pregnancy if i don't pay her off, the money she demanded was too much,I don't have that type of money but I know you do. I had to tell you. I'm sorry

I promise, I will change, please forgive me. my good people of nairaland please help me beg her. we got married when we were early twenties and late teens. please I don't want to lose her.

I will spend time with the kids, I will do a full STD test, I will do anything you want just please forgive me.