STILL ON TRADITIONAL VS CHURCH MARRIAGE.

Going through the opinions and comments on which type of marriage ceremony (traditional or christian) is more appropriate, it becomes clearly evident that when it comes to the issue of christianity,

 some people cannot hide their hatred for the religion. That is when they claim to believe so much in their culture and tradition. They forget that virtually everything we do or engage in are all foreign including this platform we are using. Even Gabriel Okara in his famous poem, " Piano And The Drum", knew that we are helpless on this matter.

I make bold to say that we have all abandoned our culture and traditions which we pretend to cherish, and have embraced foreign culture which has helped us more. We display all manner of foreign culture with an air of pride, yet we continue to pontificate our pretentious love for our culture. Is it in dressing, food, learning, language or the way we relate with our neighbors and families? Western culture has brought relief and comfort to us in all areas of life which ours could not address. If I may ask, how many of us can "wu ogodo" or put on other typical Ukwuani attire like the wrapper and go to the office? How many of us can still use coconut fiber or used corn cobs to to clean the anus after stooling? How many of us can abandon vehicles and opt for our traditional way of movement by trekking on bare feet? How many of us still prefer to roof our houses with raffia palm leaves just to retain our culture and tradition? How many of us still bring up our children in villages, deny them western education but learn our culture and tradition?

Christianity is just one of the western cultures we borrowed. We borrowed and practice them all because they are more convenient, more effective and more refined. The question is, why is it that it is only when it comes to christian religion or christian marriage that we remember that we have our own culture? Simply because people want to be heard, they preach traditional practices they neither understand nor put into effect. They misquote and misinterprete bible passages they do have the spiritual exposition to.

For the avoidance of doubt, church does not discourage traditional marriage where parents of the bride are honoured, and their blessings received by the intending couple. In fact, during church wedding, the officiating minister of God sought to know first whether all traditional rites have been fulfilled before joining the bride and the groom as husband and wife. The parents and the families who are usually present at the wedding would confirm before the minister proceeds. We know these things, but just have the penchant for cynicism when it comes to christianity. 

I challenge all advocates of traditional marriage to look into a situation where a man dates a lady, get her pregnant and abandon her. The lady, her child/children and her parents become helpless; no other would like to marry her. Do your research in Ukwuani land and see the rot.  Our tradition has no solution to the ugly trend. Most problematic young men and women in the society are products of such foundation. On the other hand, church has made it mandatory that as a member, you cannot impregnate a woman who is not your wife, talk less of abandoning her with the child.

Church wedding is beautiful and honourable where couples receive blessings from spiritual fathers even after receiving from biological parents. Double blessings I call it. Most men did not have this privilege because they were so much in a hurry, or due to their lifestyle and they missed it. They became morally disqualified from the dignity of church wedding. They are the most vociferous on this matter. But never mind, your children will get it right.

In conclusion,we must understand that religion is a very sensitive issue. We must be careful in our comments in order not insult others by trying to rubbish what they believe and cherish. I am sure you cannot try this with the Moslems.